MY BEADS POINT

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when i love you.... love you baby....

three days ago, i told my boyfriend.

that i don't know what is love.

stupid huh?

i told him that i love him everyday, every hour, every 10 minutes, and just like that...

after i watched the sex and the city season 1 for the 3rd times that three days ago.

i was thinking alone with lonely feeling that is it really going to be that beautiful?

i mean, i always feels like is it really going to happen that way?

i told him, i don't know what the love really meant.

it is not going to be as simple as in film.

you kiss me, i hug you, we looked at each other and that's love.

sometimes i felt like its really hard to understand your own feelings.

are you really angry, what is the reason, is it make sense?

i thought it is just one of my kind in this galaxy.

i thought it is just me that being childist.

angry because of no reason, annoyed, and all that nonsense behaviour.

i thought it is just going to be happen in a girl like me. an 18 years old girl.

but now i know.

its also happen to 31 years old woman, 45 years old woman, even to 50 years old woman.

is it the act of being childist?

is it just because women want to be understood since they are so difficult to be understood?

me start thinking, is it that simple just to mention your feeling as what you called it love.

is it just like an law lecture which you can draw a map of it?

after i think for these 3 days, i found out.

that love is just an abstract, an unspeakable feeling, cant be mention by sentence like Shakespeare did, you just can describe it.

you just can say "i love you" even there is thousands even millions feelings mixed up in your heart.

you just can call it love. it just feels so right.

so we thought that love is when you laughed together, when you kissing, when he hold your hand, when you two are just feeling so amazing of being together.

its not that all.

love is when you slap your boyfriend or your girlfriend because he say bad words, its love when you shout at him or her.

its love when you cried because he or she not around, its love when you smack his or her butt because he or she look so sexy, its he or she when you so fed up and you are thinking of kick him or her but you wont.

its love...

this indescribable feelings.

this amazing extraordinary fantastic spontaneous spectacular feeling.

the fact is you will never know where is this feeling came from, when is it come and why its come.

no reason guys...

yes, you are loving for no reason.

you cant say you love someone just because he is rich

just because he or she is good looking,

just because he or she is good at talking.

when you love him or her...

that's it !

you will love just everything at him or her.

even that tiny ugly hair at his stomach...

you will love it....

it is love when it just you and him or her.

even when you think that you are lonely now, it is love....

don't mention it as lonely, call it love....

when you angry don't mention it as angry, call it love...

when you fells all the desire just to kiss him or her wildly, you didn't feel horny, you feel love...

catch it!

smack it!

sniff it!

see it!

kiss it!

stare at it!

pour it!

just feel it!

its all on your skin, on your air, on your hair, even on your food or drink, just feel it...

feel the love...

make everything you can call it as fucking asshole, that damn thing, suck think as love....

i felt amazing...!

i felt like Shakespeare... !

ahahahha...

don't blame me... !

just feel it... !!

love it... !!

now look for your love one, call him or her, kiss him or her, hug him or her, smack him or her, taste him or her, do everything that you can do just to show that you love him or her...